N: Test 123. Looks good. So you have the real, really the real, flu?!
H: Yes.
N: Did you know that there are tests now for this, lateral flow tests, you can order them on Amazon of course, it’s a combination test: Covid and flu. And pregnancy.
H: Okay. But I don’t see the advantage if I know that I’m not pregnant. I deeply sense that I’m not pregnant. I have a very positive feeling about not being pregnant. Also I don’t think that I have Covid. I also did a test but it’s not Covid, It’s the flu. I feel like shit, I look like shit, I cannot get up. I need help to do anything, I need help to get into the kitchen because I cannot walk. It’s awful.
N: But you don’t need help to speak, obviously, which is, you know, everything has two sides, but for the TP Adventskalender, it’s a good thing.
H: It’s the first time I actually do speak today. With you. I only speak for you.
N: Thank you! And, listen, I learnt something. My natural reaction would have been to say, Oh, that’s great! But I learned that you don’t say that because you don’t know if the other person thinks that’s great and so I say: “And how do you feel about this?”
H: Uhhhh. Oh wow, this is a sentence I don’t appreciate hearing.
N: Okay, that makes it much easier for me because it’s not a sentence that comes to me naturally. It’s part of my little list of expressions I’m training myself to use like a foreign language. But, so, here we speak our language, the one we always speak except that it’s English now.
[much laughter]
N: Oh now I’ve killed you with laughter.
H: I have a cough, I can deal with laughter.
N: You know, people say “Smother them with kindness”, but I don’t do that, I kill them with laughter. That’s also a good thing. It’s, what is it called my, you know the thing Superman can do, or Superwoman.
H: Super power.
N: Right, that’s the word. Kill with laughter. My super power. Anyway. So, the flu. Are you vaccinated?
H: No, I’m not.
N: Why?
H: Because I forgot. And that is actually funny because I think that, like, 50% of 2021 I spent thinking about vaccinations. Half of the year, I thought of nothing but vaccines, but I didn’t think of getting the flu shot.
N: Okay – do you want to get a reminder next year because I can do this, I get a reminder from my employer and I can just pass it on to you.
H: That would be great but do you get vaccinated in the office?
N: Yes.
H: Okay, so maybe you can ask them to come to me and vaccinate me in my office, because I’m so bad at going places. I’m really bad at going places.
N: No, this is a decision of principle I had to take a couple of years ago, that no, we don’t send the doctor into other offices to vaccinate people. You’re not the first person who wants this. But we don’t do it, people have to come into the conference room to where the doctor is to get the vaccination, but still it is very convenient.
Ich wünsche Ihnen gute Besserung.