N: Hello. I didn’t hear you coming because I spoke to myself, and I thought I could pretend to be you. I just need to put the H in front of the sentences. And I got a bit carried away, but then I realized I can’t really speak that much. I can’t speak for two people, not if one of them is you. That’s not possible. And anyway, I’m totally done today so we’ll have to keep this short.
H: And I have the flu. And I think it will never end.
N: Yeah, but you did crazy things today like going out. Why? You never go out.
H: I left the building. The house. But I was in the building, and even in one place in the building which is my bed ever since Tuesday, and that’s a very long time. And I felt like I want to walk around outside.
N: But now look at what kind of funny things you think when you have the flu. You never want to go out normally.
H: I’m a dog person so, yeah, for me, walking outside is my job. So now I feel very bad.And I think this is very vexing. Okay, no reaction. I thought you would appreciate my usage of the word vexing.
N: I did, I appreciated it and I looked at it appearing in writing on the screen. That was nice, it was a good experience.
H: It’s my favorite Jane Austen word.
N: Oh you look very Jane-Austensy there, like, you know, all those suffering ladies with different illnesses, and they are reclining, they are not lying, they are always reclining. Like you, you are reclining in your cushions. That’s a nice picture. Oh, someone is knocking on your door!
H: I think I’m being served hot lemon. And also someone is doing laundry
N: The maid, presumably.
N: The man. And here is my hot lemon. Thank you very much, my dear.
Kid H: Oh, are you doing the THING with November Rain?
H: November Rain. Exactly, yes, I have such a clever kid.
N: The boy is serving hot lemon
H: Because I’m sitting here which is a very bad thing.
N: Look the THING says you are sitting but you said lying! The THING is lying! This is crazy!
H: It thinks it cannot be that this woman has been lying here since Tuesday. That’s wrong, it can’t be true, she must have got up, she must be sitting. It’s a very clever thing, maybe it’s an intelligence.
H: So what have you learned today?
N: We did self reflection again, and then I was on the train and then I was on the phone on the train, because my mother has the stomach flu, which is not a good thing for the elderly. See, now it knows the word “elderly”, this is the only reason why I said this, I wanted to see if it learns.
H: I see what you’re doing and I think it’s learning from us.
N: Yeah, the intelligence is learning from us. I’m flattered. And I’m also flattened. I’m done.
H: Flattened, yes, I think that is a very useful thing to be if you’re – oh my god you are 50.
N: Yes, I know.
H: Yeah, so from 50 onwards, I think flattening is a good thing, because I mean like the opposite of sagging.
N: I thought the opposite of wrinkles, like ironing, but I don’t have that.
H: No you don’t have wrinkles. That’s true. You look like a baby.
N: That’s because I eat enough. That’s important.
H: So I found out this morning. Yes. This morning I woke up and I realized that I cannot get up, I have no blood pressure, everything is turning, and I feel really shitty.
H: But you went outside.
H: Yeah, in the afternoon. Since Tuesday, including Tuesday, I haven’t eaten. So I haven’t eaten for four days, because I don’t feel like eating. It’s there’s no point in eating. The only thing is, then you die.
N: Yes, but not so quickly, that still okay, people do this for health purposes actually. Fasting.
H: But if you have a fever and fast thats stupid. So I ordered white bread with cheese, which was my childhood feel better soon meal. And I ate that. Now I don’t feel like eating for the next five days. But I will have another bread later today. That’s good, because that’s a clever thing to do.