H: Let’s do the THING.
N: There it is. Now we are doing the THING. Perfect. How do you feel about our THING so far?
H: Um, I have to concentrate on feeling how I feel right now because I’m recovering from embracing the flu. But I think that the THING is so much more time efficient for me that I totally love it. And I find it entertaining because we still can see each other every evening.
N: That’s right, and even for me it’s time efficient even though I’m at the moment the person who prepares the file for upload, because we only have to say things once, and not several times because the audio is poor. And I can always refer back to things, I can always say “I already explained, scroll up and look it up”.
N: Did I kill you with laughter again?
H: Yes, but it’s very easy right now because I have to cough every 10 seconds.
N: Yes, and that’s great, it gives me the opportunity to jump in and speak.
H: I actually have to tell you something.
N: Oh, please do!
H: Yesterday you told me this very uninteresting story about the rapid tests.
N: Yes. And I lied. It’s not with pregnancy. That was on purpose, that lie.
H: I did one today.
N: A pregnancy test?
H: A rapid test and you have to be very strong now. I am not pregnant.
H: I also don’t have Covid.
N: That’s good to know. It really is, because you know, we met only a couple of days ago, so I’m more concerned about Covid than about pregnancy because pregnancy is not contagious.
H: It’s self imposed.
H: So, what did you do today.
N: I was at the seminar and the topic today was self-reflection which I absolutely hate. Oh my god, do I hate it.
H: You are terrible at that.
N: Well, I can choose, I can be terrible at that and then it’s very boring. Or I can be absolutely stunning at that and then it’s very exhausting for me, because you know I have this barrier. And it’s very good. My barrier is excellent and so normally nothing can touch me at all. And I can, you know, move it down, like by pressing a button mentally, if I want that, within half a second or so it’s down and all is fine, I’m a different kind of person, all there, no mental barrier at all. But it takes effort to keep it down if I’m not in an environment where I would naturally do that. So here, of course it’s down without effort, you know, you are not dangerous.
H: Maybe you misjudge me.
N: Ha ha. But in other contexts, work for example, it’s just the default that the barrier is up, which is, for me, a very good thing, because it makes everything so much easier for me. And I can still let it down sometimes on purpose if I want to achieve something by this. It has an incredible effect.
H: But then it’s not letting the barrier down, then it’s pretending to let the barrier down.
N: Not at all, I do let it down. And nobody ever expects it and people are overwhelmed and I move it up again and continue. It’s a very good thing to have. Like a special effect. But to keep it down on purpose for an extensive period of time like three or four hours in an environment where I would not normally do this, that’s very exhausting for me.