H: Hello! I need to look at myself first because I want to see what I look like.
N: Have you forgotten? Oh no, you have new hair!
H: I’m a bit sad now, because I think the appropriate way to address that would have been.: Oh, my God, you look fantastic! What happened there?
N: But you always look fantastic. You just now look differently fantastic.
H: That is one of the best things about you.
N: What is one of the best things about me?
H: That you are such a good liar.
N: Oh, I read this article today. I think it was in the New York Times, about a compulvie liar and when I started reading it, I thought: Oh, maybe I am one! But then I found out I’m not, only the introduction to the article was a bit general, you know, to maybe to make people get interested in the article, probably, and I felt spoken to somehow.
H: I don’t think you are a compulsive liar, you only lie when you think it’s better for you.
N: Yeah, that’s true but I almost never think it’s good for me, because you have to keep your lies in mind, you have to remember them, and this is too much work for me. So I almost never lie. Too much mental load. But I’m often very close to telling stories which are not true just because it is such a good story and I enjoy good stories so much – well this is lying, of course, but I am only very close, I don’t actually do that. But I understand how it happens. Only I’m too lazy for the cover up work. And I found a good system for myself, I first tell the story as it happens and then, as a bonus track, I tell it again saying “it would have been a much better story if…”
H: Yes, I know that you do that. It’s very entertaining.
N: Good, I’m happy that you think it’s entertaining. It’s not my fault if things don’t always happen in the most entertaining way, I think this should be corrected when telling about them. I could tell the same situation in a million different ways. So, maybe the compulsive liar person just feels the same as I do but can’t stop at this border. He did not have any benefit from his lies, only the nice story about how he climbed Mount Everest for example. I felt touched by that.
H: But I think I would not be interested in being with such a person.
N: Yes, that’s the problem, because you want to get to know the person.
H: So for example if you told me you climbed Mount Everest I would think obviously we are not a good fit because i’m so sports averse. And then that would be sad because you couldn’t be my friend even though if I just knew that you don’t climb Mount Everest you could still be.
N: Yes, that would be very sad, and you know my live rule #1: It’s no use to be loved for something you are not.
H: But I love you particularly because you are no mountain climber!
N: That’s right. I have to rethink that maybe. But you know, I thought maybe this compulsive liar person could channel the energy to tell good stories and become an author, or a scriptwriter. So if the stories are fantastic, that would be great, so this compulsive lying is just a misdirected personality trait.
H: So do I look younger. I think I look younger.
N: Do you want to look younger? Then you look younger, of course.